Unsure

My eyes should be closed & dreaming away. I know this. I think too much. Always have. I have been an open book to have ppl read my thoughts, feelings down. I have so many different emotoons going on right now I can't pin point it down. I have things to do...oh so many things, my mind is so wired. My apt, car, moving, son leaving, daughter going back to Texas to visit her bio-father, my mother not speaking to me, my jobs....just a huge over load! I can't feel good about anything bc I feel like I have so many things to do can't have happiness in my life. I'm stressed. Wish I could just sleep. I pray for peace. In everything I attempt to do. Please pray for me. I need all yhe help I can get. Thank you!

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Comments (8)

  1. lotus_pond

    I can see you’re doing and thinking a lot of things at the same time you forgot all about yourself.

    August 05, 2015
    1. showerstoflowers

      I have always put everybody before me in my life & I am trying so hard to put myself first but its not working out so great.

      August 05, 2015
      1. lotus_pond

        There are people and things we prioritize in life. Perhaps putting matters equally in order would be good.

        August 06, 2015
  2. m_reality_life

    trust in god and it would all be ok…. maybe not now but some time soon… my prayers and best wishes are with u always… but just make sure to take it one step at a time… we can’t make people like us for doin what we want or for not doin things they want… we cnt always please everyone dear and from my knowledge ur a very strong person to be dealing with all of that but my advise to you is to take it all one at a time… as for ur son who is leaving i dnt know the reason but jus pray that everything go good with him an may god guide him as a mother thats the best u can do… and ur daughter jus probably needs some time wit her dad so let her hav it to the extent tht she needs jus take it easy n hope n pray for her safe journey… prayer is very powerful and there is always an answer

    August 05, 2015
    1. showerstoflowers

      Thank you for your kind words. As for my son, he doesn’t know what he is doing, but, at that age, I already had my daughter & was living my life. He got his gf pregnant. Nothing I can say bout that bc I was young when I got pregnant. I can only wish him & her the best. He is taking responsibility as much as steping up to the plate, but, now he has to finish this part in his life. I pray he finds the strength to stand tall & be a good father. His wasn’t much of one & I had to do both. Be mom, dad & bread winner. It was hard, but, I did have my ex’s help after doing it for so long, he was a great step dad. In the things that have been going on I can only see in time things do get where they need to be, easier, no, just go where they are. Nothing in life is easy, I was blindsided when my ex started taking care of me bc I was so deeply depressed so far gone I could only feel the dirt covering up my face. He divorced me bc of this & left me to drown. Idk if any of this that I just wrote makes any sense, but, its 5AM & I cant sleep. Thinking bout work. (sigh)

      August 05, 2015
      1. m_reality_life

        When a man leaves a woman to drown it only shows how weak he is… ur a strong woman n god has put many hardships in ur path only so that u cn put ur trust and faith in him to handle the rest…. as for ur son if he’s a teenager then nothing u say now won’t ring a bell in his ear if he thinks he’s right all u hav to do is let him live and experience life the way he wants to lessons will be learned but probably in a much harsh way…. ur a great mom n being a son he should have looked and consider even once about the things u did and how hard u worked to help him grow to the stage he is right now…. it is a son’s duty to support a mother if there’s no father but am quite ashamed of how my fee low teenagers think in these times… my dear laying in bed and stressing and being depressed is natural because u r trying to figure out what the future really is but from my point of view it would take u a while but u should try to show them that u do feel hurt but u should focus on u cause according to what I understand it seems like u r living alone n god forbid if something happens to u so plz make sure to take care of urself ur phase of teaching ur kids is passing and it’s time for u to let them learn on their own if they want to…. plz make sure u take care of urself and as for work everyday isn’t the same n not all staff r good to everyone so jus put ur best at it and trust in God ur prayers would be answered god isn’t cruel he gives us how much he knws we can handle

        August 05, 2015
  3. Hugh_Pizmehoff

    August 05, 2015
  4. GoldenPig2012

    Oh, it’s a familiar refrain. Life lived is harrowing and full of worry and doubt and fear right along with joy and small moments (they will be BIG moments later on, trust me) of happiness and fulfillment. I just prayed for you. I’ll do it again. Rely on His strength, not yours. KNOW, He’s got this and it’s “normal” you feel you don’t, dear. If I had a nickel for every time……………..blah blah blah. Keep us posted. Love to you

    August 05, 2015