Better

I always though when you are w someone that person makes you want to be a better person. I mean, I have pretty much always have felt that way. You are with someone bc you want a better life for yourself, but, also want it for someone else, that significant other. 

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Idk, guess call me crazY!

My mind is on a conversation I had today w my ex. Yeah, my dumb @$$ keeps trying to be his friend. Okay, today after my dentist appt., I text him, thinking okay. I'm happy. Feeling good even though had some drilling on my teeth. I continue to try and reach out to him, but, I just continue to feel bad, bc, he is rejecting me every-time I am making an effort to try to be his friend. Today, he clarified this much, he is not ready to be my friend, bc, he is fixing the house to rent/sell. I don't get that. What the heck does that have to do with a friendship? It makes no sense to me. I told him this. I just am a little happier w myself. I want to share that with him. I was so depressed before, that now, I am trying to be happy & share that with him he isn't ready. I'm trying yo STAY POSITIVE! Wtf, what am I missing? Hmm, I feel like something is wrong with me. Is that crazy?!?To just try to be his friend & he tells me I have started a new life w new apt, new job...I am in a new life & he is still fixing our old one. I was like wtf? Wth? Is there something wrong w me bc I was pushed into making this decision in getting an apt bc I have to live somewhere. I have to have a job to pay for my place I am living in. What is it that he is thinking that I have it so much better than him? I guess it is a good thing? I mean, he left me w ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!  --0--

thanks guys/gals for listening to me! I love you ALL! Mwah!

 

 

 

 

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Comments (10)

  1. Hugh_Pizmehoff

    I don’t understand why people need to be this way, but it is more likely than not.
    .

    September 03, 2015
    1. showerstoflowers

      You are too FUNNY THOM!!! Ty for always looking at the brighter side!

      September 03, 2015
  2. chakra_tingles

    That, right there is your problem ! Yes, all of this is just crazy. You should never engage yourself with another person, unless you’re entirely happy with who and where you are in your life. To do so, is to inflict pain upon yourself, and your loved one. Seeking someone, to have a better life, has never ever been on my agenda. I can’t fathom that particular concept as it’s foreign to me.
    .
    I’m sorry that you’ve not reached that sweet spot within the depths of yourself, and within your self, to then offer yourself to another. One, who sees you as his equal. Evidently, he’s trying to get on with his life, and you should do the same thing too as there’s no point trying to mend fences, when the damage has already been done. His rejection, should tell you all you need to know, in terms of what he’s trying to say to you without words.

    September 03, 2015
    1. Hugh_Pizmehoff

      How do we know that once we are happy with ourselves, whether the other person will be as happy with us as we are with ourselves?

      September 03, 2015
      1. This comment has been deleted
      2. chakra_tingles

        Hugh. If the other person isn’t happy with you in the first instance, then why on earth would you commit yourself, and vice versa.
        .
        Wouldn’t it be easier to call it quits and go your own way, instead of wasting your time trying to convince them that you’re worthy of their affections ?
        .
        I don’t understand why a person would be involved with someone who isn’t already happy and/ or content with who they are; mind, body and soul.
        .
        People, who aren’t already happy or content, can be miserable and painful to merge with because nothing you say or do, is ever going to fill that emptiness that lingers in their heart & soul.
        .
        Happiness… is an inside job, so I’ve heard.

        September 03, 2015
        1. showerstoflowers

          I guess calling it quits was not in my vocabulary, but, what I am hearing is that is something I need to do. I am a happy person. I just think that, YES, THINK…that once you are happy w yourself you can share it w other ppl. Whether they are happy or not, that is on them. I mean, isn’t that saying, umm, a smile is contagious. Isn’t happy contagious too? Yes, that is a question. I feel like I am happy w ME. Not that I need to feel like I need to defend myself, but, that is what is going on right now w this comment.

          September 04, 2015
      3. showerstoflowers

        Idk.

        September 04, 2015
    2. showerstoflowers

      I didn’t realize I had a problem. Thx.

      September 04, 2015
      1. chakra_tingles

        I didn’t mean to make you feel inadequate. The thing that struck me, and stayed with me through reading the rest of your post was the following “you are with someone bc you want a better life for yourself” and I suppose it’s because I’ve never been that way inclined when it comes to relationships with me.
        .
        But, each to our own as we’re each woven by different fabric, below the surface. Yes, happiness is contagious but if the other person isn’t reciprocating the same sentiment, don’t you think it’s better to let go instead of trying to recover a feeling that is no longer mutual ?
        .
        I don’t think there’s a right or wrong way, there’s just a way, based upon ones circumstances and life experiences. I suppose, my life experiences have constructed me in a manner that has me believe that people are not to be depended upon, for anything. Unless, of course, it’s a mutual vision that’s shared between those who are committed to one another.
        .
        Sometimes, we don’t get to dictate the vocabulary that’s utilised in a relationship, particularly, when the other party is seeking closure. The least you could do to maintain your own self respect, is wish him all the best and allow for closure to be attained, to enable you both to move forward with your lives.

        September 04, 2015
        1. showerstoflowers

          Don’t worry about it. Making me feel inadequate is an overstatement. I am content w me, myself & I. Ty for your concern.

          September 06, 2015