love

well i have said this before it is a word. to some a beautiful word bc that is what they have. to some of us we don't even think bout that all we think is why, what, when, where is that for real? im raising my hand to ask to speak can it be? or is it...

feelings

i don't want them. i would rather feel numb than to feel this way. i would rather feel nothing than to be lost in this pain.

packing

its not the things, its not where we placed them. its more like leaving my home, my place i would rest, would look at the ceilings before i closed my eyes, my comfort. i have to now find another place to feel safe. 

Today

a sad day, not that the past 30 days haven't been sad for me but today marks one month. He's gone.:(

Not sure

i wake up thinking weird, odd, strange...there are ppl in this world that i have things in common with. Why does it surprise me so much? Is it bc i wrapped myself around him so much & he was my all that i didn't see that there is/are more to life...

Messed up

i feel alone. I feel hurt. I feel anger. I feel he is mine. I feel what happened. Where r u. What happened to you. why cant i stop thinking. You left me. I was faithful, loyal, honest. I thought I did it all the way I was supposed to. Maybe I didn't...

Wrote on 5-17-15

rs  I am thinking right now…what is loyalty? What is commitment? What is a promise? Why does it hurt so much?

Ppl

where does the hurtful side of a person come from? Why cant ppl be nice? Why is it so hard to say goodbye? What is wrong w me? i wanna scream! I just cant stop the tears & it makes me so mad But they still come gushing.

Text

i asked him so maybe it was best I wasnt here? He doesnt reply to anything that has an emotion to it. It hurts bc he is my heart. Full to the top, ppl r like u will getthru this. Yes, ppl do get thru heartache but I dont want 2b here w this heartache. 

Yesterday

i don't remember how I felt. Just know that wanted 2text my husband(hub). That was our thing. From day 1. I wanna cry just sayin that. I miss him but then again he wasn't hardly here. the small amt that he was I was happy w. i hate wakin up 2days...

Sadness

I can sleep good some days, he isn't on my mind but these past 2-3 days he is all I think of. I went to sleep trying so hard not to think of him. It didn't work. I woke up thinking of him. I hurt literally in my body. Packing & going thru things...