Mail check

he texted said i will be there at 6pm sharp to p/u mail. I replied, its just junk mail. No need to was your time or gas.He replied i would still like to get it.i said i really dont want to see you. He insisted that he wanted it. i was like it will be...

To be in love again

i think its to soon.i mean there is no one there.i see no future with anyone.yes maybe bc i am by law stilled married (give a week)& by choice thinking anything right now would not be fair, that is if there was someone. i don't want it to be a...

Angry

i get there sometimes bout the way he handled things with us. i wanna stay angry but there is this tapping on my shoulder that just doesn't want to be that person.is it bc i am weak?is it bc i can't fight back?does it appear i don't care bout myself?i...

Sleep

i wish it would come easy.Nothing does though. i am feeling little stronger in my mind, yes of course i think of him but all i am trying to think of is to get out of here(our home) find me another place to lay my head to call home.

Havent been alone

i havent been alone since suicide attempt. I am not taking anything so i wake up in a panic. I go looking thru house to see if my older son is here. He is gone. I go to front and car is gone. I have to call him bc my heart is racing bc I haven't been...

He said I want you to hate me

i want you to hate me.wth?these are the words coming out of his mouth. im not gonna hate him but as of yesterday when i think of him i get sick to my stomach. i wanna throwup. my gut tells me its another woman but he denies it.yesterday when we were...

Divorce

if you never gone thru it than you can try to understand.yup he had some papers mailed to me yesterday. i will have nothing.thats how i feel but freedom is something i can say i will have.freedom from this terrible torcher that he has put me thru and...

I'm trying

it started last night. i met someone just a friend. i can say he helped me.he was helping my mind not to think of my soon soon to be ex.The friend talked bout himself.Like he needed to get it out, bout his life. he has a spine disease& takes pain...

Nothing

i am still here in this shell of a so called body i have.i no longer linger for his smile, touch, companionship.these things have subsided. i say this now bc this is how i feel for him but memories are the most difficult things for me right now. our...

Its odd

ppl think bc someone commits suicide they are weak. No, they are not. Theyhave to think of all the ppl that will mourn for them. They have to think bout some ppl that did care. They have to think is this the right thing to do? Please dont think my...

My son

he has made a decision to move w his friend. im glad. it is what he needs.i on the other hand will be completely alone. im not strong enough so i hear. im my head,my family,my husband.

17

not enough.today is my gbaby bday so i wont do that to him. he is a miracle as my daughter says when she talks bout him.he is 3 today. i dont get to see him, she doesnt let me bc she knows how much he means to me but pain is her way of hurting me...

Goodbye

i dont want to be here in this world.i am ready to go.i have wrote my goodbyes to my children & parents. i am able to take the medication to help me go to no longer think. no longer be a burden. no longer hurt inside. i said my goodbyes so no...

Is it in my head

sufficating, choking, stabbing, coughing, pulling, thinking, kicking, yelling, screaming inside, wondering why? how can one person make you this way.